The Most Unexpected Friends
by KricketWilliams
Summary: When Garcia becomes friends with Morgan's girlfriend, she has to make a decision about her life. AN: I don't own Criminal Minds. CBS does and they do a great job with it! Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to put in chapters, so it's a complete story.


AN: Has some strong sexual content...

If there was one word to describe her, Penelope Garcia would say "average." Not quirky, colorful, fun loving, eccentric, many other words that others would use. For although Penelope was a strong woman, she lacked inner confidence. Most people thought that because she dressed boldly, called herself "the Goddess of all things" and flirted with the most handsome man at the BAU, that she didn't lack in self esteem.

They would be wrong.

Pen did the best to hide this from most people. Her profiler friends, of course, saw right through her. They saw her as loving and caring, easy to hurt, easier to heal. They saw through the façade that she erected so long ago. It was easier to say, "To heck with it!" than to face the scrutiny of others. It was easier to hide in a computer world than in the real world most of the time.

Pen was a hacker by trade. Well, "tech analyst," but a horse is a horse, no matter what you call it. She loved her "babies," the multitude of computers and modems that surrounded her. She loved games, she loved programs, she even loved viruses- for the pure challenge of it. But what she loved the most, and had for so very long was Derek Morgan.

For some reason, Morgan, as the team called him, could see the devil in things and spit in it's eye, but he was lacking when it came to seeing what was right before his eyes. It was rather embarrassing. The some of the other profilers seemed to know, his family seemed to know, even his dog seemed to know that she loved him. Why not him?

It started so innocently, him calling her "Baby Girl." Her! Chubby, dye job blonde Penelope. She turned and looked at him like he came from another planet. It was an unintentional flirt on his behalf; he was so comfortable around women. He was a player extraordinaire- all women adored "the" Derek Morgan.

After that, Pen got the courage to flirt back with him. She wasn't normally flirtatious by nature. No one at the BAU knew that. It all started after Morgan and his "Baby Girl" comment. She'd tease and laugh with him, even make overtly sensual gestures. She even flirted when the chief was on the line by accident! She sealed her fate as a party girl then. It was so fun! She was a nerd in high school, a nerd in college, a nerd when she first started in the FBI. Suddenly, she was beyond that into something exciting.

Somehow, through all that flirting and through all the tension that they both had in their jobs everyday, she and Morgan became the best of friends. She was closer to him than anyone else on the team. She liked girl talk with JJ and Em, but no one got to her like Morgan. They would have dinner together often, he'd bring over movies and they'd watch them together. They'd play with her xbox Tony Hawk and Madden. They cried together when Derek's Grandma passed away. They were there for each other after each blown relationship, each work stressor, each life stressor.

Derek had a multitude more experience than Penelope. She could count on one hand the number of boyfriends that she had. Numerous women hunted down Derek. Pen met the occasional fellow hacker, but they never got past computers. Pen knew there was more to life than that. She wanted real conversation, not just dialogue in programming.

Tonight, Derek was on a date with a woman the team began secretly calling "Miss Thang." She was tall, svelte, beautiful, thin, tan. Pen hated to admit that she was smart too. She was everything Derek should have. Derek's perfect match. Their children would be so beautiful that people would pass out from pure wonder when they passed. Penelope, a solid 4 on her own scale, couldn't help but be irritated by the fact that the "10's" of this world seemed to win all the time.

Bonita (Thang's real name) truly sucked because she was kind too. She seemed to really like Penelope, and even said it was okay that the "three of them" go do something sometime. "After all," she said with a hug, "you are Derek's bestest friend. What's good for Derek is good for me." Derek had graced Thang with a kiss on the forehead for that, and Penelope felt that she just swallowed her own liver.

This was to be expected. She loved him, after all, and missed that she didn't get to spend as much time as she used to with him. To Derek's credit, he did still see Pen once a week, regardless of whomever he was dating. He was better than most of her girlfriends that would ditch their friends when a boy would pay attention to him. She hated that she was jealous of Thang, she hated that she missed Derek so much, and she hated that she even felt funny flirting with Derek on the phone. So, slowly, ever so slowly, she started reverting into the Penelope of old.

Chapter 2

Penelope was cleaning her kitchen when her phone rang. She was attacking her fridge with utter vengeance. Feeling particularly vicious, she answered, "City morgue: you stab 'em, we slab 'em."

"Penelope?" The dulcet tones of Miss Thang greeted her questioningly.

"Hi, Bonnie," she said, feeling inadequate in her sweats and "Lil' Miss Sunshine" T-shirt just by imagining what Thang was wearing.

"My cousin arrived in town just a week ago. Joe is really nice, and GORGEOUS, but really new to Quantico. Derek and I are going out tonight; would you be willing to partner with Joe? Sort of a fun new double date" Bonita sounded really hopeful and happy.

Penelope thought that she would rather stick needles under her fingernails than have to sit near Derek and Thang on a date. Reid and Hotch had recently been teasing the hell out of Derek, because he'd been rather moony about Thang. It was an every night thing, when they were in town. Reid even laughed and said, "Is it love?"

JJ and Em shot a quick look over at Pen when Reid joked. Pen was rather proud that she was just smiling, hiding well her sinking heart. "Face it, Garcia," she told herself. "You never REALLY stood a chance with Morgan anyway. You were kidding yourself. When does it ever work between someone like you and someone like him?"

She decided that it was time to let the dream of Derek Morgan go. No better way to do that then trial by fire. "Sure, Bonnie," she saccharinely said. "Tell him to get ready to meet 'the goddess!'"

Derek, Bonita and Jose "Joe" Santiago were sitting at the Club Fun outdoor patio. It was a beautiful night and Derek loved catching the stars and the moon. He was excited that Garcia was coming tonight. He had missed her. He liked being with Bonnie, liked her great attitude and gorgeous looks, but he missed his Baby Girl. He missed their flirting too. Over the past few months, Garcia barely looked his way. He would say, "Good Morning, Baby Girl" in his usual fashion. And how did she answer?

"Morning, Morgan."

It was starting to piss him off. No "I'll show you a good morning, hot stuff!" or "Come make it a good morning." He would ask if something was wrong, and Pen would answer back, "No, Sweetness. All's good." He knew something was wrong, knew she was flat out bald face lying to him, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do.

He couldn't exactly report her. He groaned as he thought of going to Hotch and saying, "Garcia isn't flirting with me. Reprimand her." However, because of the change in her, there had been a change in him. He didn't work as effectually as he normally did. He seemed out of focus, which the team had immediately thought was because he was "smitten."

He laughed it off. Bonnie was a good time, and not someone he wanted to hurt. She was also a pretty good lay, and not very demanding. He knew that Bonnie was starting to like him a bit more than he liked her, but he wasn't ready to cut bait yet.

"Ooh, Joe!" Bonnie exclaimed excitedly, tapping her handsome cousin on the shoulder before waving excitedly at the door. "Here she comes! I told you she was pretty."

Derek turned to watch his Baby Girl come strolling in. She was wearing a red wrap dress that showed off her ample curves. Her blonde hair was all golden curls around her shoulders, her eyes sparkling behind a pair of matching red glasses, and her lips… full red lips. Derek loved Penelope's lips. He had kind of a fetish for red lipstick because of her. Every time a girl would come around wearing red lips, he wanted to get to know them.

Bonita walked over and gave Penelope a hug. "Pen, this is my cousin, Jose."

The Latin stud kissed the hand Pen offered and said, "Call me, Joe, Baby Girl."

Penelope's full red lips formed a delicate "o" at that comment. "Wow. How did you know…..?"

"I told him it was your nickname, Pen," Bonnie said. "I know Derek calls you that, and I figured you wouldn't mind?"

"No…. no," Pen said, a bit flustered. She glanced over at Derek, but he was looking at a something at the other corner of the room. Well, if he didn't care, then neither did she! "No, I've been called worse." She grinned at Joe, whose dark eyes caressed over her. Thang wasn't lying; her cousin was her male equivalent in looks.

Derek wanted to punch something. He had a tick in his cheek and his head was starting to hurt. Joe was all over Penelope, and Derek couldn't decide if he had good intentions, or was just trying to screw his best friend over. He was really ignoring Bonnie, who didn't seem to care because she was so happy over how Garcia and Joe were hitting it off.

Baby Girl! Who the FUCK did this guy think he was, calling his Baby Girl "Baby Girl"? And his Goddess allowed it. He was so pissed off, he couldn't even look at him when he said that, and was even more upset when Pen answered. That was how she answered him when he first said it!

"…And so Joe beat the high school math league score AND scored the winning touchdown in the homecoming game!" Bonnie gushed, laughing and proposing a toast by lifting her glass of chardonnay.

Joe actually blushed, "Bon, honey, don't." He grinned boyishly. "Soon she'll have me wearing a cape!"

Penelope laughed and smiled up at the sizable Joe. He was a veritable giant, standing about 6'8''. Derek started wondering how many hits it would take to fell Joe?

"But there is one skill I have that I would be proud to show you." Joe stood and moved around to the back of Penelope's chair. "Dance with me, Baby?"

The strains of "I'll make love to you" began to play on the system. Derek thought he was going to laugh. It was so cliché, he'd done it a million times himself. Sing into a pretty girl's ear as the romantic song came on the sound system. It rarely failed, except for someone as smart as Garcia. She would laugh his fool ass off. Finally, the smoothness that was Joe that he had to endure for the evening would stumble and crash.

Then his Baby Girl did something he never expected. She went on the dance floor with Joe.

Chapter 3

"You feel so good in my arms, Baby Girl." The deep baritone of Joe's voice rumbled just above Penelope's ear. Penelope felt him run his arms over her back and to her hips, gently massaging as he swayed her to the music. Dear God, he could dance. And he made her feel beautiful. And he was sincere, as far as she could tell.

"I never thought… one of Bonnie's friends," he was shaking his head near her hair, gently chuckling. "Such airheads before, no substance, all flash. You… don't take this wrong… but you're substance and flash!"

Penelope felt an enormous smile cross her face. The man was good, really really good. "Oh, c'mon now. You had to have the pick of the litter. You're beautiful, like Bonnie and Morgan."

"So are you, Momma," he said, spinning her out to match her spinnng head.

"Yeah, a 4 out of 10," she mused, meaning to cut through what she thought had to be a total load of crap.

"Baby," he said, drawing her close to him, so close his hips were pressed against her, and she could feel the unmistakable truth to his words. "You're off the charts."

She looked up into his eyes, the dark, smoldering black of a true Cuban, and nearly stumbled over her own feet. He was looking at her mouth like a starving man, and she was the only sustenance for miles. He ran a hand up her back to her hair and was leaning forward when she heard , "Excuse me."

Pen looked around Joe's shoulder to see Morgan standing there. "My turn, Baby Girl," he said, looping his arm around Garcia's waist and pulling her deftly away from a angrily protesting Joe.

Derek Morgan had had enough. He watched a pro player romance the hell out of his best friend, and he knew she was going to get hurt. He watched them flirt all evening, watched him give Penelope not so subtle touches. He wasn't going to watch while some jerk off player broke his best friend's heart.

"Derek, are you even listening to me?" Bonnie said in a huff. She put her hand under his chin and made him look her way. She sighed, "Darling, every time I try talking, you answer in monosyllables. I look where you're looking, and multiple times tonight, it's been at Pen and Joe. What about me?"

Derek's eyes softened as he looked at Bonnie. "Bonnie, I'm sorry. I just don't want to see Penelope get hurt. She's been hurt before."

Bonnie rolled her eyes, "Joe is a wonderful guy. And he really likes her. He loves blondes, you know! And she's witty. I knew he'd love her once he met her. She underestimates her charm, you know."

"Yeah, she does," he said, smiling too. Then the smile disappeared. "But she don't know how to handle someone like him. Someone smooth and a lothario. Someone…"

"A bit like you, Derek Morgan?" quipped Bonnie. Derek paled when he thought of what Bonnie was saying, and he realized he didn't want Pen with a serial user. At that moment, Derek had seen Joe pull Pen into his erection and do the mesmerizing thing HE usually did when he wanted to bed a woman.

Which brought him to be holding a squirming and angry Penelope Garcia in his arms. "Derek! You can't treat me like a sack of grain!" she huffed, reminding him of an angry kitten. "I have some say so, and I say I want to dance with Joe."

Derek frowned down at her. "Baby Girl, he wasn't dancing with you; he was setting you up."

"He LIKES me, Derek!" she hissed. She was so angry that her cheeks were almost as red as her lips.

Derek took a deep breath to make himself feel more gentle. He was angry, upset at Joe and Bonnie for bringing Joe, and feeling like a heel because he was trying to help. "Baby Girl, I know what I am talking about," he said, running a soothing hand down her back. "Just be quiet and dance with me."

He had never danced with Garcia before; she wouldn't do it because she said she was clumsy. But she was keeping up just fine in his arms now.

Another smooth R&B song came on, the perfect "Derek Morgan" song as he pulled her into his arms. "My Goddess," he whispered fiercely against her hair. She stiffened up, but he kept running smoothing hands over her back. "You've always been my friend and I cherish you," he said, putting a hand under her chin, tilting her face to look at him. "I love you, Baby, you know that?"

Deep inside Penelope, she began to feel exactly where she needed to be. She liked Joe, he was nice and sweet, but Derek was… Derek. There was no compare. She didn't want to be so automatically attracted to him. Her body began to sing in his arms, his scent filled her brain, the feel of his hard muscles overwhelming her. He was wearing a thin t shirt and low slung jeans.

He rocked her in his arms, and it felt so good, so right. She started thinking hopeful thoughts, that maybe he was a bit jealous and didn't like to see her in Joe's arms. Maybe… maybe he thought she should be in his instead?

She looked up into his eyes, warm, chocolate brown. No one had eyes like her Derek. They were hot, smoldering too, and Penelope began to fall even deeper under his spell. "Woman, what you do to me," he murmured, his forehead against hers. Penelope looked up at him, her huge eyes shining and trusting.

The song stopped and Derek remembered where he was and what he was trying to accomplish. He blanched a bit. He was falling under the seduction he was trying to show her. He was aroused; if he was holding Garcia any closer, she would have noticed. Christ, he was no better than Joe; in fact, he was worse because she was his best friend.

Abruptly he let her go and she actually stumbled a bit. She looked up at him, confusion on her face. He let his cockiest smile take over his face. "See, Baby Girl? I'm a player and it's easy to seduce with the right set up. I know what I'm talking about." He watched her take in what he was saying, a mortified look on her face. He softened his voice, "Baby?"

Quickly, she turned and Penelope started to run towards the table where an angry Joe sat by himself. "Joe, please take me home," she choked out, willing herself not to cry in front of Derek.

"Pen!" Derek yelled, catching up and grabbing her arm. "I don't want you to get hurt by some player like me."

She wrenched her arm away from him and glared up at Derek with ice in her eyes. "It's too late for that."

Chapter 4

Pen sat crying quietly in Joe's car. He may be a "player," but he was also a gentleman. Penelope wondered if that was an oxymoron for a moment, then just felt like a moron herself. She couldn't believe she actually thought for a moment that Derek Morgan liked her. Truly liked her. He was just teaching her a lesson, albeit a painful one…

"He wants you, you know that?" Joe said quietly. She glanced over at Joe. He was sitting with his jaw set, an angry look on his face. "I am mad as hell at Bonnie. What was she thinking, setting me up like that?"

Penelope had a mirthless laugh. "No. He likes Bonnie, not me.."

Joe harrumphed. "Baby Girl, I know what I saw. That man couldn't take his eyes off you. Bonnie may be blind, but her lover boy is in love with you!" He pulled over to Pen's apartment, and threw his Mercedes into park. "Baby, it takes one to know one. I'm smitten with you, but he's got it real bad."

"NO!"

Joe sighed and touched the tip of her nose. He looked at her tear streaked face and touched a smooth ivory cheek. Before she could protest, he leaned forward and captured her lips in a soft, sweet kiss. He held on for a minute before he leaned back, sighing with regret. He handed her a card with his name, "Call me sometime, Baby Girl, if you're ever truly free."

Derek walked out of the club, following Pen and Joe, when he heard, "I knew you'd go after her." Derek turned to see Bonnie. She didn't look angry, exactly. She looked defeated, and resigned. He needed to put an end to that right away.

"Ah, Bonnie," he said, "I was just trying to keep her from getting hurt by showing her what a player can do. She's my friend."

"Derek!" She was obviously exasperated with him. "Stop lying to yourself and me… and Penelope. You love her."

"As a friend, of course," he continued, "but.."

Bonnie started to laugh bitterly. "Imagine Jose making love to Penelope. Imagine her in his arms, moaning and crying out…"

"Hey," Derek said, not liking the image she was conjuring. "She's my friend. I don't want to think about that sort of stuff."

"Umpteen times you looked at her, umpteen times I had to repeat myself, umpteen times you glowered at Joe," she spat. "You can't see it, but you're lying to yourself. Tell me you weren't aroused dancing with Penelope? Tell me you don't miss her flirting when she calls you. You practically kicked Joe when he called her 'Baby Girl'…"

"That's my nickname for her! It just felt… weird."

"Why, Derek? Think why! Why so possessive over a simple name?" Bonnie shook her head, a dry laugh escaping her. "And to think, she was just getting over you, too."

That stopped Derek completely. "She's my friend, that's all. I wouldn't hurt her…."

He thought about what Penelope said when she left. He thought about all that Bonnie was saying. Oh, God. It was true. It was true, and he let her leave with another man. He had to tell her. He knew she loved him! And he was sorry he hurt her. He had to tell her.

Chapter 5

Penelope heard a knock on her door. She opened it and saw Joe standing there. "You forgot your purse," he said, handing her the purse and smiling. She thought of how much she really liked Joe, what a truly nice man he was. He started to turn to walk away.

"Wait! Joe," she said, "Please come in for a moment or two." She took a deep breath and opened the door. "I.. haven't been honest with you tonight either. You were right about me not being free. But it's not because of Derek loving me." He was about to talk, but she put up a hand. "It's about me loving him." Tears formed in her eyes. "I've always loved him."

Joe smiled at her, which surprised her. "It's a big mess between you two, isn't it?"

She started to laugh, probably because of the smile on Joe's face. "Hell, yes." They laughed together, and Joe followed her into her apartment. They talked about the mess of her life as they shared a bottle of wine, her work, how she thought Morgan didn't love her and how he knew he did.

All in all, Joe could see how Morgan became her best friend too.

"You know," Joe said, eyes twinkling. "This isn't how I planned on spending the evening with you, Baby Girl, but this'll do." He looked at her plump red lips and felt his groin tighten again. "But one more for the road." He leaned over Penelope, took off her glasses, and began to kiss her softly.

He was a good kisser, thought Penelope, as he deepened the kiss and a pleasant warmth settled over her. Nothing shocking, nothing truly arousing, but a good kisser. He had the ability to make her feel desirable and cherished. She thought she could sit there kissing him all night. It was when he worked a hand up from under her belly to rest on her breast that…

"Jesus Christ! What is going on!" Derek stood in the doorway, barely constrained rage on his handsome face. Penelope and Joe stood up. Pen jumped in front of Joe, which pissed Morgan off all the more.

"We were talking," Pen said defensively.

"With his tongue in your mouth?" Derek said incredulously. He looked at Joe and growled. "I'm giving you a three second head start to get your sorry ass out of this apartment."

"Derek Morgan! Who do you think you are?" Pen glared at him, hands on her curvy hips. "You can't…"

"The man you love, Sweetness, so don't even try to defend this asshole," Derek said, saying what he came to say. Red rage was running through his blood. He felt like killing that man. That man took his nickname. That man took his red lips. That man was STILL touching his Baby Girl!

That man was going to be toast.

Pen paled a bit at what he said. So, he knew. She took a deep breath and looked at him. Joe reached over to hold her shoulders. She looked down her pert little nose at him. "I will recover from this affliction," she said. "I look at you like I do the flu, Derek."

Joe decided that he was having a bit of fun riling up Agent Morgan. The man was absolutely spitting tacks. He came to like Penelope for Penelope tonight. He knew that Agent Morgan loved Penelope; how to help Pen get what she truly desired? With his hands rubbing Pen's shoulders, Joe said, "I can wait for you to come to your senses…..Baby Girl."

"You're a dead man!" He started to shove Penelope out of the way so he could dismember Joe.

"Derek!" Pen said, putting both hands on his chest.

Joe took a step back. "Hey, what claim do you have on her? She loves you, but she said she'll get over it," Joe goaded. "What claim, brother?"

Joe didn't account for Derek's swiftness or strength. He picked Penny out of the way and grabbed Joe by the front of his shirt, lifting the bigger, taller man off his feet. Derek said in a low, deathly growl, "She's mine! She's always been mine, she always will be mine. You do NOT get to touch her. She's mine!" He gave Joe a shake and tossed him to the ground. "Get out! I am not going to let some player…"

Penelope's heart soared, and then plummeted. He was protecting her again. She was his, alright. His friend, who "no one can hurt." No one but Mr. Morgan himself! She sighed. He did love her. But not in the way that she needed him to. She knew defeat when she tasted it.

She swallowed the bitter pill. "Derek," she said gently, easing her way in front of the rabid form of her best friend. "I do love you. But Joe isn't hurting me. I… rather like him."

"Yeah, Morgan," Joe said, dusting himself off. " I do like Pen for Pen herself. I could see myself loving her someday. I'm not playing her, man, as much as you think I am. If you think she isn't good enough for me…"

"Hell no!" Derek swore. "You aren't half enough for my girl." He looked over at Penelope and cupped her face in his hands. "Baby, you want this fool?" His voice was haggard and hoarse, soft and anguished.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked up into the face of the man she loved, that she would always love. "No," she choked out, crying harder.

Something in his heart knit itself whole when she answered him, and then rend itself apart when her tears began. "Oh, Baby," he said, kissing away every tear as they started to fall. "My sweet Baby," he said, continuously kissing her cheeks and forehead, her eyelids, her tip of her nose. Her eyes met his, and he told her without words how much he loved her.

In the next moment, she let out a half chuckle, half sob, and wrapped her arms around his neck. They held each other laughing and crying, grinning foolishly. All anger left Derek, he just felt joyously happy. This is where she belonged, in his arms, right next to his heart. He scooped her up, carrying her towards her bedroom. He shut the bedroom door with his foot.

Joe grinned. A job well done, if he didn't think so himself. As he shut Penelope's front door, he thought, "Maybe I do deserve that cape?"

Chapter 6

Derek laid Penelope on the bed, then followed. He looked deeply into her eyes, his hand cupping her cheek, his thumb playing gently with her luscious bottom lip. "Oh, Penelope," he said, before his mouth covered hers.

Instantaneous lightning rushed down her body. Her whole body shook like she was standing in the wind, shivers of delight surging over her entire body. Kissing Joe was pleasant; kissing Morgan was utter surrender. She couldn't think, she could only feel the coursing of feeling rush through her. She felt his warm hand caress her arms and shoulders, up to her neck, and then back down.

He caught her whispering his name before he kissed her again. She tasted of sunshine and joy. They made love, and together they lived happily ever after.


End file.
